Unmothered on this Mother’s Day

This is a great essay on being “unmothered,” especially at this time of year.

I suppose now I need to add this to the things I am going to have to address (along with being unfathered) in my own writing. Just acknowledging how alone I’ve felt for the last 20 years is painful and sad.

Vanessa Martir's Blog

My mother is very much alive. In fact I talked to her the other day. For the first time in over a year. She said things like, “You know I don’t like girls. Girls come here to suffer.” She criticized. She reminded me, “tu dejas la inteligencia en la escuela.” Then laughed when I was silent. “You always hated when I said that.” I still do.

I didn’t know there was a term for me until after my brother died in June of 2013; when I was dealing with my grief and all the griefs that grief brought up, including the grief over my antagonistic relationship with my mother.

They call us unmothered. There are those who are unmothered because their mothers died. Then there are those like me, whose mothers are alive and still don’t mother us.

According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary the Definition of UNMOTHERED: deprived of a…

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One thought on “Unmothered on this Mother’s Day

  1. I am unmothered as well…and have come to learn that there are more of us than one would think. It’s just such a cultural taboo that so many wont’t/can’t talk about it.

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